You can go to many residential schools across the country and throughout the world, but none has a home life like that of a Camphill community. The Camphill School’s home life is unlike any other program. It’s ours. It is a true family setting where each child has a team around them: teachers, therapists, and houseparents. The gesture of a houseparent is very different than that of a teacher or a therapist. The class teacher is leading the child to the world; the therapist accompanies the child on his journey; and the house parent guides the child as if from behind, supporting the child on his or her process of meeting the world.

We had five children in our house last year and each had a specific need that called for specific observation and flexibility. One student had difficulty with self-regulation and was at many times anxious and agitated; almost disconnected from their body and its needs. We observed and came to the understanding that in order to help this child gain more insight into their own body, we needed to work with the element of warmth. Their bed was warmed in the evening with hot water bottles to welcome them in, and warm baths eased the transition to sleep. With warmth applied to hands, feet, and belly in the evenings, eventually the child was able to begin recognizing and mastering his own physical needs. They could now better feel hunger, thirst, and exhaustion and could more easily express those needs to us.

Another therapeutic gesture that only can take place in the home is house work. Every opportunity for the care of the home and those you share it with has a therapeutic element. A student who was seemingly on the fringes of our house community was assigned the duty of setting the table. In the beginning the table was chaotic with utensils and cloth napkins haphazardly strewn about. Gradually, after much repetition and loving guidance, the table became a lovely, tidy place to share our meals. This simple act helped bring this child to us as a house community. They became part of the daily routine and knew that the spoons and bowls we were using were there because they had put them there.

House parents see each child and what they need. We strive to find wholeness for each individual in our home – whether they are a student or a young coworker. The house parent is an ever-present gentle force shepherding each member of their house towards the world and their true selves.

originally published in 2016